whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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