How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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