Pappa wants mamma naked
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
