I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
A bitchslap is in order.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
