If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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