I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
