omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize