I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
