You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
