the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
