I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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