my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
