Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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