i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
