Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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