i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
