it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
