I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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