I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize