if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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