I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
