I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
