peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
