you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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