what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
