I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
