i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
