Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
