I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize
