You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
honey bunches of taint.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
