biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
