my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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