Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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