I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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