Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Threesome in a minivan. New low
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
