I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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