Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
