I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize