Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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