i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
