And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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