i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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