O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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