What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
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