All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
