I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
