That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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