I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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