I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
