Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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