I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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