This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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