Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize