the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize