Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
