I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
