I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It's never too late to be topless.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize