i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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