Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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