I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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