Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
