I can tuck mytits in my pants
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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