we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
